Old age jokes
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A strained voice called out through the darkened
theater, "Please, is there a doctor in the house?!"
Several men stood up as the lights came on.
An older lady pulled her daughter to stand next to her,
"Good, are any of you doctors single and interested in
a date with a good, Jewish girl?"
A little Italian grandfather comes up to Customs.
The Customs official says, "Have you got anything to declare?"
He thinks a second and he says, "It's a nice-a day!"
A tiny but dignified old lady was among a group looking at an
art exhibition in a newly opened gallery. Suddenly one
contemporary painting caught her eye.
"What on earth," she inquired of the artist standing nearby, "is
that?"
He smiled condescendingly. "That, my dear lady, is supposed
to be a mother and her child."
"Well, then," snapped the little old lady, "why isn't it?"
Minutes before the cremation, the undertaker quietly sat down
next to the grieving widow. "How old was your husband?" he
asked.
"He was ninety-eight," she answered softly. "Two years oder
than I am."
"Really?" the undertaker said. "Hardly worth going home,
wouldn't you say?"
The 75 year old man and his young, knockout wife were
shopping in an upscale jewelry boutique when the man's
oldest friend bumped into him. Eyeing the curvaceous
blonde bending over the counter to try on a necklace,
the friend asked "How in the hell did YOU land a wife
like that?" The old man whispered back, "Easy. I told her I was 90!"
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